Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Am I Reading Too Much Into Dreams?

There are people out there who dream a lot and those who dream a little, those who remember their dreams the next day and those who never remember any of their dreams. The experts will tell us that those who remember their dreams are probably only remembering one or two of many dreams they may have experienced during the course of the night (or day).

I remember dreams – usually one upon awakening. I’ve had frightening ones that made me wake up screaming, and recurring dreams that I apparently share with a lot of other folks. But lately my dreams seem to disturb me – not in a frightening or gory way. My dreams involve my work life and how I do not fit in. It may not be my current line of work that I’m dreaming about but I’ve dreamt of working other places and I’m not only unsatisfactory but I am a downright disappointment to all around me. And to me as well. I know I carry those feelings over to my current job. I’m about to get judged on the worst year I’ve had in the last 5 years and I’m dreading it. The entire year I’ve done the absolute best I’ve been physically and emotionally capable of and I know it won’t matter a whit.

And there are other kinds of dreams. I have dreams – goals – that I wish to fulfill. I wonder if I will ever accomplish them? Or if I’m even meant to do so. Will I be able to take that introductory flying lesson I asked for? Not unless I take off some excess weight…I’ve visions in my mind’s eye of two or more flying instructors doing their best to stuff my oversized backside into a tiny cockpit. Will I someday be able to retire to a nice warm sunny clime? Will I be able to leave my children and grandchild(ren) to do so? I’m watching a friend go through that difficult decision right now.

I have dreams of a nice home – one that isn’t filled with bric-a-brac and doodads and general junk. I am a “keeper” and my husband is a “thrower”. We need to sit down together and compromise. With his dive instruction schedule it hasn’t be possible so far. When we are together, I lack all desire to go through this crap…I mean stuff…

I am watching my son and his family move into their first home. I so wish I was there – I want to throw out everything in my house and start over.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jeannie! I NEVER.. well VERY RARELY remember my dreams. It always amazes me when I hear someone else tell about how they remember faces and colors and every little detail. It's just so foreign to me! Sorry to hear you're sounding a little down, but I find myself still trying to appreciate my OWN new home here. I'm o.k. some days, but then other days I wish I was back in my old house. I miss it there, and I imagine it's only natural that the whole first year here will still feel like an adjustment, but I feel like what choice do I have but to adapt. I sure don't feel like MOVING AGAIN!.. Not YET anyways! On a daily basis, one day at a time, I just keep praying, counting my blessings, and trying to focus on the positive!... Right now, the weather's still a little chilly, but I'm VERY HAPPY to see some green grass peeking out from under the melting snow!! (0; Hooray! ((hugs)) ~tina