Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Day With Justin

I got a call from the kids to watch dear little Justin today. They have moved into a new home and needed to take the day cleaning out their old apartment. Would I mind watching Justin? Of course not! I watch him learning more and more each day. At one point, he picked up my car keys and tried to stick them in the keyhole in the front door! If he had been a bit taller, he might have reached it (not that they would have fit). He took his first couple of steps on March 5. He walked about 10 feet in the living room today, and I see him stepping more and more on his own without holding onto anything.

I picked up yarn and hook again today while Justin was napping. I'm back to the lavender and white and coffee-stained round ripple. I'll work on that more tomorrow.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Nice Weekend!

My brother and I had a very nice springtime weekend visiting with my sister and her husband in South Jersey. The weather was great. She is the most gracious hostess ever! She makes me feel welcome all the time. Her husband is a fantastic cook too! I am thankful for a family that cares about me and supports me through thick and thin.

My brother, sister and I walked the beach to look for shells on Saturday morning. There was still a bit of a chill in the air an some hearty souls taking in the sun – not many. After walking the beach and the boardwalk, we went shopping for a while. I undid a lot of my “decluttering” at home by buying new little do-dads. Oh, well.

Things at work have been keeping me tense and overwrought. I feel like something cast off to drift in the sea. I have no control – no, I guess I do. I can adjust to the change and go with it. It’s just so difficult when my head tells me something and every other particle of my being doesn’t want to cooperate. I just don’t like the way this was done. I know the last time they moved us all around was a disaster for me and I don’t want it to happen again. I have to trust in God that all will work out.

I keep a betta fish who was staring at me from his fishbowl. I fed him this morning and he is always begging for more. He will definitely make the move to the new building with me. He is a handsome little guy – yellow with brown spots. He likes to flare at my finger against the glass. But it’s all for show. He comes right to the surface when he sees me pick up the fish food container. He’s got a nice little bubble nest going already in the bowl.

Summer’s coming and I still have my introductory flying lesson gift certificate. I haven’t decided on a date for that yet, but thankfully, there is no expiration date on it. They even give you a refund if you show up there and are too scared to do it. But I won’t be. I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while.

How would you like to come out to your car and find this?

A beekeeper was called in. Evidently a queen bee stopped to rest on the woman's car and soon a swarm formed. Once the queen was captured and removed, the rest of the bees flew away! Wow~

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


After 3 huge snowstorms and another nor'easter bringing almost 4 inches of rain to our area, the sun is out, it's over 60 degrees out and the flowers are peeking above ground.

I am working on a small piece of crochet work to get me back into the spirit of it. I decided a small dishcloth in spring colors would work. I'll post a photo (I know - I always promise that). It's just been so difficult lately.

Changes in my life - ups and downs - I have to keep plugging away. I pray that those days will return. Days when I crochet for hours on end, browse through my pattern booklets to search for the next project - I'm trying, folks!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Price of Beauty - Pain...

I woke this morning feeling a little lighter. It's sunny and warm and the birds are singing. I decided on a day of "beauty" - had my nails done and some waxing - in the G-rated way.

At some point in every woman's life, she looks in the mirror and says "I've turned into my mother". The cruel joke that nature plays on us is that even farther down the road, that same woman will look into her mirror and say "When did I turn into my father?" The slightly hairy chin, the downy upper lip, the brows going astray - a little waxing will be needed now and then to counteract the werewolf look. Okay, it wasn't that bad. The nice smooth warm wax applied to the brow, the application of the linen and then that first shocking RIIIIIIPPPPPPP! My eyes must have nearly popped out of their sockets. It wasn't so bad after that.

The nails look nice though. I got a full set, done in pink and white.

My review at work went through, just as I was afraid. I was dropped down another notch to a meets requirements rating with a smaller raise. I was also informed that I am being moved to another building beginning April 5. I am sad that I was rated on such a bad year, when I really feel that I did as well as I was physically and emotionally capable of, but I guess I can't fault the company for that. It's a new year and I have to be strong. And as far as the move goes - well, the building I'm in hasn't felt right from the beginning. A move to a new building might be what I need.

And may I just say that I wish the snow would go away now - no more until Christmas Even 2010, please. It is a nice day out, but every where you go there are mounds and mountains of piled-up snow that looks like gravel - it's so gray! I'm done with it.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Am I Reading Too Much Into Dreams?

There are people out there who dream a lot and those who dream a little, those who remember their dreams the next day and those who never remember any of their dreams. The experts will tell us that those who remember their dreams are probably only remembering one or two of many dreams they may have experienced during the course of the night (or day).

I remember dreams – usually one upon awakening. I’ve had frightening ones that made me wake up screaming, and recurring dreams that I apparently share with a lot of other folks. But lately my dreams seem to disturb me – not in a frightening or gory way. My dreams involve my work life and how I do not fit in. It may not be my current line of work that I’m dreaming about but I’ve dreamt of working other places and I’m not only unsatisfactory but I am a downright disappointment to all around me. And to me as well. I know I carry those feelings over to my current job. I’m about to get judged on the worst year I’ve had in the last 5 years and I’m dreading it. The entire year I’ve done the absolute best I’ve been physically and emotionally capable of and I know it won’t matter a whit.

And there are other kinds of dreams. I have dreams – goals – that I wish to fulfill. I wonder if I will ever accomplish them? Or if I’m even meant to do so. Will I be able to take that introductory flying lesson I asked for? Not unless I take off some excess weight…I’ve visions in my mind’s eye of two or more flying instructors doing their best to stuff my oversized backside into a tiny cockpit. Will I someday be able to retire to a nice warm sunny clime? Will I be able to leave my children and grandchild(ren) to do so? I’m watching a friend go through that difficult decision right now.

I have dreams of a nice home – one that isn’t filled with bric-a-brac and doodads and general junk. I am a “keeper” and my husband is a “thrower”. We need to sit down together and compromise. With his dive instruction schedule it hasn’t be possible so far. When we are together, I lack all desire to go through this crap…I mean stuff…

I am watching my son and his family move into their first home. I so wish I was there – I want to throw out everything in my house and start over.