December 2009 Snowstorm

Well, Philadelphia took the brunt of the storm. We had about a foot of snow fall here in our neighborhood. I have to say it was pretty. Driving wasn't too bad either. At the start of the snow season, the road crews pretty much stay on top of everything. It's when the snowstorms keep coming and the winter drags out that they soon start rationing their salt and counting their overtime, and some roads are left undone.

This photo is from our neighborhood:

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

We are waiting to see what we actually end up with, but I've heard snowfall forecasts ranging from 6 inches plus, to 10-20 inches of snow. The more, the merrier I say. At least for this snowfall. After a while, snow gets wearisome. The only thing that would have made this better is if it had fallen on a Sunday night into Monday. Hoping for a white Christmas too - I hear there is another storm coming later this week.

They've just updated the snowfall totals on the news. We are in a band forecast to get 12-18 inches of snow! Yippee! I'll give credit to our local meteorologist Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz - last night he jumped right in forecasting 10-20 inches of snow, whereas everyone else was hedging their bets with 6+ inches. Calling it as he sees it must have something to do with that bow tie he wears!

I'm going to spend the day wrapping (always a last minute struggle before), making my list and checking it twice (to make sure I didn't miss anyone), and just generally taking this snow as a sign to sloooooooow down! DS Dan and Nicole want to do some shopping today, hoping the stores won't be too crowded. So Dan will pick me up and drive me over to their place to watch Justin. Another bonus!

Well, gotta go make breakfast for DS Tom. I grabbed a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm making him pancakes.

Have a great day, everyone!

13 Days And Counting

It's getting closer to Christmas - I am anticipating it for the first time in quite a while. I went shopping yesterday to purchase indoor decorations for my home and it's probably been more than 15 years since I did that.

Wayne called from the Bahamas. He's been on his liveaboard scuba diving trip and loving every minute of it. During one call in the middle of the week, he sounded very very tired. He said he's dived with sharks, mantas and even saw an octopus. I'll be glad to see him when he arrives safe and sound this evening.

It's early in the morning, the heater has been acting up, and I turned the oven on to add a bit of heat to the kitchen. I figured I might as well add a batch of cookies to it, and put it to good use.

I'm also in the midst of two loads of laundry - one in the washer and one in the dryer. I'd like to duck out to Kohls sometime today and look for a couple of cute pillow to dress up the living room.

Off to tackle a couple of other projects - but before I go, I'll share a photo of grandson Justin with Santa Claus.

Happy Thanksgiving To All

Well, my turkey defrosted. Dinner went very well. I cooked the turkey in an oven bag and it came out so moist that my DH raved about it. He's not a big fan of turkey due to the fact that it can be dry at times. This was perfect and fell apart when we opened the bag.

DS and his family made it to NY to have Thanksgiving with Nicole's family. Little Justin tried out a swing for the first time. He loved it. He also tried a bit of turkey and loved that too. They had trouble taking it away from him. LOL!

Here's Where We Stand...

Our invitation to my sister's house - I've declined it. Due to my son's illness (bad cold, maybe?) and my nephew's flu, I've decided to spend Thanksgiving at home. That means running out yesterday to buy a turkey and all the other fixings for dinner.

The turkey hasn't thawed out at all, I've got to make the stuffing tonight before I go to bed, and my hands are shaking so bad I can't type very well. I'm not going all out - just some mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy, some veggies and salad. No rolls, no sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce. No homemade pumpkin pie - store-bought. Just thinking of those few items is wearing me out.

I stopped at the Amish Market yesterday to pick up a few things there for dinner. Purchased a nice piece of fish for dinner tonight. Looked all over for it and couldn't find it. So we ordered pizza instead. My son found it in the car just a bit ago. So it ended up in the trash. Oh, well. At least we caught it before the car smelled bad from it.

Spent the morning with my grandson. He is something to be thankful for. He wants to walk so badly - he grabs hold of your fingers and toddles so precariously. He is getting very good with his "bye-bye" wave. And he doesn't do the army crawl as much as he did before. He is up on his hands and knees more. He learns so quickly, as each day you can see something else that's new. He's very good at How Big and responds when you ask him "How big is Justin" by raising his hands up in the air. What a doll!

What a Night!

As in difficult! My GERD has been acting up and last night was unbearable. Won't gross you out with the details, but suffice it to say that I was awake from 3:00 on this morning, and each time I tried to drift off to sleep, poker-straight in the chair, I woke up choking. I hate nights like that.

I think it's flaring up with the thoughts that I will be returning to work on December 1. The group sessions, as intensive as they were, were a safety net for me. I've not been as diligent with taking my medications on time, and I know how critical that is. My fear is that I'm not ready to return to a situation that caused me to plummet into a depression in the first place.

I'm trying, on the doctor's advice, to get back to the things that used to make me happy. Glad to say that my fish I bought last week are still alive. Even been thinking about trying to get back to that sweetheart ripple afghan. As it is, my blogging has been limited at best. I spend most of the time checking my e-mail wanting to get in touch with others and finding it difficult to do.

We had planned to join my sister at her house for Thanksgiving but her son has H1N1 flu, so we will be staying home. Hope I can get some help in the kitchen. I went out earlier to pick up the dinner fixings and I'm so tired that my butt is in the chair and I can hardly move. But that's been my status for the last 2 months.

Bought another skein of yarn today. Looks like good yarn to make a donut pincushion. It will be a homemade gift Christmas this year. I have two sisters who sew and would probably like these.

Yarn and Hook Today, I Hope

I've decided to try to pick up yarn and hook today and work on something small. Why does something I love so much feel like such a chore? I've also given fishkeeping a try again. This weekend, my husband helped me clean out the old 5 gallon tank (the one replaced when the 20 gallon shattered last Christmas) and some balloon-belly mollies and some skirted tetras have moved in. The little balloon-belly mollies are my favorites.

My sister has extended an invitation to her home for Thanksgiving. I think our family will be joining her. We'll cook a small turkey breast at home the day before so that we have some left-overs here at the house.

We will get together with family for Christmas either the weekend before or the weekend after, leaving Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to celebrate with our own families. I can't think about Christmas yet. At this point, I want to ask my husband if we can forgo the tree and decorations this year. I don't want them - not yet.

This is my grandson's first Christmas - he will be one spoiled little boy...

That Reminds Me...

I was watching a story on the news tonight about a little girl dropped off the bus and left alone on a corner because there was no one there to meet her. That happened to my son at the age of 6.

I made arrangements for my son to get off the bus at the babysitter's house. One week into the school year, my babysitter went on a planned vacation. I made arrangements to start work a half-hour early and leave a half-hour early, so that I could be there at 3:30 to pick him up when the bus dropped him off. It worked fine for the first 3 days of the week.

On Thursday, I got to the stop and waited. 3:30 - no bus. 3:45 - no bus. 4:00 - still no bus. At this point I was frantic. Do I leave and go to the school? Is the bus late? Was he dropped off and someone grabbed him? I'm freaking out at this point.

A woman came up to my car, tapped on the window and asked if I was there to pick up a little boy. I said yes, and she told me he was in her living room, having milk and cookies. I almost flew to her door, and there was DS Dan! She said she didn't know what time the bus dropped him off, but she heard him crying and decided to take him in until someone came looking for him. I thank God she was a kind person and not some weirdo.

I was ecstatic and angry at the same time as I headed back to the school. I pounded on the door of the convent and when the sister came to the door I asked for the sister in charge of running the school. When she appeared, I asked how they could just put a child on the bus and send them home early! She had explained that something happened to the water at the school and they had to dismiss early. I went on to tell her that my son was left standing on the sidewalk with no one to pick him up. I'm afraid I ripped her a new one! The sister apologized.

By the beginning of the following week, the school had a plan in place to make sure all parents were called to notify them in case of unexpected early dismissal. At the same time, I delivered some flowers to the woman who kept my child safe.

Mindfulness and Long Promised Photos of Chemo Caps

Monday's session was hard to get through, as the group focused on me and my problems. It made me not want to return on Wednesday, but I find that my desire to get well outweighs the bad feelings dredged up during sessions. I went in and found that one of the topics was Mindfulness and how it can work for you. I've had a session on mindfulness already and I had some problems wrapping my mind around the idea.

I was super-stressed out and kind of zoned-out during the session. Some of it must have sunk in however. Today, I walked out on my way to another appointment and was struck by the sense of the sun trying to break through the clouds - the warmth, the bright light. For a moment, I didn't notice my overwhelming feelings. A few minutes later, as I drove along seeing the trees mostly denuded of leaves, my attention was captured by 3 trees still wearing their autumn attire. One bright gold, one burgundy and one rust, all standing in a row. "Wow!" I though. "How cool is that?" Again, mindful of my surroundings and not my feelings for a change. I must remember to tell the moderator of the mindfulness session about my experience. Not sure if this is what she meant by mindfulness, but it's what I think I took away from the session.

Lastly, these are the photos of the chemo caps I made for my sister-in-law. Made from patterns found at Yarncat's website.

Relatively Good Day Today

I have been taking my meds almost on schedule lately. Today wasn't too bad a day. Didn't cook dinner, but had plenty of leftover stuffed pepper soup in the fridge. I did remember to keep my appointment for a haircut. I usually make the appointment for a cut, color and highlights, but being out of work on disability, I'm watching the pennies from one check to the next. Thank God my husband is working.

I like the haircut. What necessitated the cut was the fact that my sister offered to help me color my hair this weekend. I couldn't have her see me looking like a dust bunny with legs, so I made a date with the hairdresser. I am trying to save pennies, but honestly, my hairdresser is the only one I will allow to cut my hair. She's done it for years, since the days when highlights were done when the hair was pulled through thin caps with (sharp)crochet hooks. Remember that? I still remember my little one who accompanied me saying "Gee, Mommy - you look just like Beetlejuice!" For months now I've been unwilling to leave the house for any reason except to work - on days when I felt I could handle it. Most of those days I haven't been able to. So the hair's been growing out and looking a little wild.

Anyway, my standard summer cut is short - Jamie Lee Curtis in the Activia commercials short. The winter version is a touch longer.

Wondering what the day holds in store for tomorrow. Painful? Cathartic? Most days I come home in tears. I hope that lets up soon.

Forgive me, readers. I hope to get back to crochet-related posts soon.

Tomorrow is Another Day

These group sessions I'm attending are difficult at times. It's comforting to know that others find themselves in a difficult situation, but once it's your turn to speak...

The pain, the insecurities, the grief, the guilt...this is what we're dredging up, little by little.

To parents out there who feel that their child is "just doing what kids do" when they tease or make fun of other children - shame on you! You have no clue what you are condoning! Have the guts to make your kid stop victimizing those who are different from them. If you were teased or, worse yet, if you were the bully - stop the cycle now.

I went out the other day and bought some yarn, hoping to get a project started. Hasn't happened yet. This overwhelming lethargy and apathy is unbelievable.

I did make an appointment to go get my hair cut. I haven't had it done for months. I usually wear it very short, and it's gotten to an annoying length. Yesterday I washed it and let it dry. Looked in the mirror and said "What the hell is that on my head? Looks like something the cat coughed up!" I trust my hairdresser will think of something good to do with it.

Wednesday

Creative title, huh?

Yesterday I wrote that my brain is empty. I have been feeling for a long time that my heart is empty too. I don't want to go to therapy today, but I will. Monday was a very difficult session and I don't want to relive it again. But I must if I want to feel again.

I can't tell you how much I love my husband, children, brothers and sisters for sticking by me and supporting me. I do love them but I have so much trouble expressing it.

I'm already in tears and I still have 20 minutes before having to leave for therapy.

I feel like I'm broken and impossible to fix.

I hate this feeling. Thank you, cyberfriends, for checking in with me.

To others in my situation - I may sound down right now - part of the bipolar disorder, I guess. Please follow through with treatment - I do intend to leave here on time and make my session, as difficult as it will be.

Old wounds have been festering for a long long time and it's time to clean them up.

Brain Is Empty Today

I've been wanting to post, but I haven't a clue what to post about.

Since I can't make a decision, I even left dinner up to my son. He decided on cheesesteaks. Thank goodness for delivery...

I've taken my new medication and I think I'll settle down for the evening. I so wish I could pick up my crochet hook to pass the time, but I haven't any interest in it lately. It's killing me.

Another session tomorrow. Hope it goes better than Monday's session. This is so difficult...

Thanks to all for your prayers. Please keep them coming.

Fighting the Fight Again

I've been struggling again with depression. I've decided to try talk therapy in addition to medication. My days have been filled with tears and with an overwhelming sadness for many months now. I hope that the new medications and the therapy will make a big change in me. My singular joy in life has been visiting with my grandson. I haven't picked up a crochet hook in ages, with the exception of those chemo caps I promised to my sister in law. I finished them and sent them on their way. I will update this post with photos of the finished caps.

Please forgive me for not posting on a regular basis. I do enjoy writing and miss blogging.

Please keep me in your prayers, good friends.

The Power of Words

I've been perturbed by things I've seen and heard lately. Children who use foul language, backtalking their parents. Worse yet, parents using foul language or saying mean, hurtful things when speaking to their children. Wonder where the child's reactions come from?

Let me tell you that words are powerful things. They cut deeply, like a knife, when used the wrong way. Those cuts reach all the way to the soul, and are difficult to heal. Sometimes they never heal.

If you know a parent who fits the description above, please advise them to stop. They are wreaking havoc with their child's psyche.

Such simple words! But words are mighty things;
They cast us down, or lift us up to rest;
They charm and strengthen, till our angel sings
The last of all the life-songs, and the best.

SARAH DOUDNEY, Some Words

Words once spoke can never be recall'd.

WENTWORTH DILLON, Art of Poetry

Use your words wisely - walk away before saying anything destructive. But blurt it out when you want to tell your children you love them.

I'll step down from my soapbox now...

I've Been Absent For a While

Sorry - I've been absent lately. I haven't been feeling well and hope that I'll be back to blogging on a regular basis soon.

I'm about to head out for an appointment this morning, and want to leave early enough to pick up a cup of coffee.

I really miss blogging and hope to be back every day - very soon. I do still check in with my favorites whenever I stop by here. Hope my cyber friends are doing well.

Take care, everyone.

What Is It About a Sleeping Baby?

I have this photo on my desktop at work. It’s my dear little grandson, Justin. I am holding him in the photo, and he is sound asleep in my arms. When things get bad, I minimize all my applications and just gaze at the photo. His little face has some strained carrots on it near the corner of his mouth, his little apple cheeks just begging to be squeezed. He looks like one of those Anne Geddes babies – an angel.

That photo has helped me get through some rough days – days when I consider just dropping everything and fleeing for my sanity.

I thank God every day for my beautiful little grandson.

Chemo Caps

I'm working on chemo caps for my dear SIL who was diagnosed with leukemia. She has had a transplant and is currently undergoing treatment in Hershey PA at the Hope Lodge. She said that her hair has been falling out from the treatments, so she allowed them to shave her head. She asked me for chemo caps, so I've pulled out hook and yarn. I've finished 3 hats to send to her, and hope to get a few more made.

I would like to have at least a dozen, so that she can share them with others at the facility.

With each one I complete, I say a prayer for my SIL's complete recovery.

Hope you are all having a good night. Thanks for stopping by.

We Have a Winner

I pulled a name at random from the responses to my previous post. The winner of the book of crochet patterns for purses is Therese!

The winner will have 5 days to contact me via my blog so that I can get your mailing address. In the event that I do not hear from the winner by midnight on 9/18/09, I will choose an alternate winner from the remaining 4 names. Waiting to hear from you.

Today is a special anniversary. My DH and I have been married 29 years. I can't believe I was so lucky to find a great guy like he is!

Mystery Destination Was...

The Poconos! The surprise was blown (at least to my thinking) when I turned on the GPS to start out our trip. Up pops the address! Of course, it didn't tell DH where we were staying but it did tell him we were headed for East Stroudsburg PA! Dang! He was thinking we were headed for the Jersey shore. Then the GPS took us on a trip! I thought it would put us on the PA turnpike, taking the northeast extension. Wrong! It actually sent us up the NJ side of the Delaware River. So it was an adventure for both of us.

We stayed at the Fernwood Hotel and Resort. I'd read excellent reviews and also some very bad reviews on the place. I was hesitant to book it, but it was the most reasonably priced lodging with availability on such short notice. There were restaurants on the grounds and lots to do in the resort and the surrounding area. We arrived at 10:00 pm on Friday to discover that the king accommodations we reserved in the hotel proper were not available, due to service problems. So they gave us a villa (a condo with a queen-sized bed, sofa and dinette set and partial kitchenette). HUGE bathroom with whirlpool tub and full-sized shower. Gigantic walk-in closet with plenty of room to stow your baggage. Very nice - I was quite pleased.

We visited the Mount Airy Casino on Saturday morning, did some shopping at the Outlet stores in Tannersville and did some sightseeing. It was a great weekend.

On the way home we stopped at the Delaware Water Gap Scenic stop. My husband pointed out the area where he and his dive shop friends were scuba diving in the Delaware. It was a lovely view there.



I think that I wouldn't mind staying at this resort again. I also would plan another mystery weekend. It was nice to get away.


I picked up a crochet book while on my trip - a book with 15 patterns for crocheted purses and bags of varying sorts. I will offer it as a prize to someone who takes the time to post a comment. I will choose a random winner on September 13. Consider it a little "thank you" for reading my little blog!